SSSsssshhhhhhh…don’t tell anyone…but I sometime…okay…more than sometime…watch…I hate to admit this…okay, here goes…I watch reality shows.
I don’t know why I have this compulsion. It started out with just an occasional Real World. I tell myself it’s not that bad because I don’t know what station they’re on or even what time they’re on. Something will just catch my attention when I’m surfing around. I don’t DVR them, okay I don’t have a DVR, but even if I did I wouldn’t. I know it’s mental masturbation, but dammit; sometimes my mind just wants a trashy release.
If I want to learn something
There are some shows that I can watch in front of people. Project Runway is about fashion and the designers are so talented and Tim Gunn is just so very fabulous. There’s also real talent on Top Chef, and who wouldn’t want to hang with Tom Colicchio and the other judges. I’m a foodie and I want to go to all their restaurants and eat their special dishes. Anthony Bourdaine combines food and great travel, I’d love to do what he does, except he does eat some things that I wouldn’t touch. If I want to learn something, there’s always Pawn Stars, which is just a low brow Antiques Roadshow.
If I want to feel better about myself
Then there are the shows that I have to watch behind closed doors. All the Housewives of Where ever shows. I think I watch because most of these women are just so horrible and crazy, even though they have tons of money they are such trashy examples of women. When I watch these entitled, privileged, awful people, I feel so much better about myself and my life. A few—very few—are not that horrible and I was actually sad to hear that Bethany was splitting with her husband—as are most of the women on those shows. Maybe those freshly divorced single women should go on Millionaire Matchmaker. I also watch how the rich and famous have fallen with Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab. Dr. Drew appears to care, but with so many of those celebrities literally dying off from overdoses, I’m guessing this show won’t be back next season.
If I want to watch a train wreck
If I’m putting off housework, I can always watch Hoarders. No matter how messy my house gets, it would still be clean compared to the ones on those shows. Then there’s My Strange Addiction, with people eating light bulbs or foam rubber. What’s my three or four cups of morning coffee after this.
I do have standards
I never watched Jersey Shore, though I do know who Snookie is. I can’t watch anything with a Kardashian or a Trump. I don’t watch Honey Boo Boo. Maybe it’s because I live in the South, I don’t find the redneck shows entertaining. I don’t need the subtitles because I understand what they’re saying. Or maybe it’s just because I shop beside people like that at Wal-Mart. Recently while at my favorite dumpy pizza place, I think I sat next to someone from Duck Dynasty.
I hate to admit that there’s more I could list, but I’ve got to go…Long Island Medium is on.
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