Three Generations (I love mom making a silly face)
I just spent a week with my Mom in the hospital for a broken wrist. It was a hard fall and at 85 breaks and surgery get real serious, real fast. It was very difficult for mom and for me too. But I can’t deny that she’s a drama queen and when she has an audience she likes to perform. Because of her age and her sweet little old lady demeanor, she gets away with murder.
She had names for the various staff who cared for her; Doogie Howser, Justin Beiber (it was the hair), Queen Latifa, BarBarBarBarBaran, and George (from Seinfeld). When the Physical Therapist didn’t look too happy about being called George Costanza she tried to make him feel better by telling him she adores that character. She told him she loved George because of his ineptitude and because he couldn’t get a date. Poor George, I never did learn that therapist’s name.
Doogie Howser came to ask her questions to make sure she was informed and ready for her upcoming surgery. I appreciated the time he spent especially when her answers were long and had nothing to do with the question. I knew he was about to ask her about Do Not Resuscitate orders when he said he had a final important question to ask her. That’s when she said, “You want to know if I still have sex?!” He actually blushed.
The Chaplin was a small quiet man whose hands stayed in his pockets. It was the end of the day and you could tell we were the last stop and he was ready to go home. He asked mom if she would like him to say a prayer for her. After she said yes, he wanted to know if there was anything she would like him to pray for. He was not expecting her to say World Peace in her best beauty pageant voice. “Let us pray for Jimmie’s health…and for world peace.” I kept my head bowed to try to hide my laughter.
My sweetie came to stay with her while I went home to catch up on sleep and take a shower. When she complained to him that I was cranky, he explained to her that I had not left her side all week and one doesn’t really get any sleep in a hospital at night. The next night when mom called for the nurse, she explained in a loud whisper, “SSSSHHHH, DON’T WAKE MY DAUGHTER, SHE GETS CRANKY WHEN SHE DOESN’T HAVE HER BEAUTY SLEEP.”
My daughter came for a visit and she helped me to see humor in my mom accusing me of smoking marijuana in the room, when in fact she was the one on morphine. When Mom accused me randomly at 6:00 AM, I didn’t find it funny, but my drug of choice, caffeine, hadn’t kicked in yet.
So why would I treasure this moment in time, when in reality it was a very difficult week? Once I caught up on sleep I realized it was a week filled with love and not just outrageous things mom said. When Mom was first admitted she waited hours on a gurney in the ER hallway waiting to find out how bad her injury was. Vulnerable, in pain, unable to move in a neck brace and not even allowed to take a sip of water to quench her thirst, she was very scared. She only had me to keep her calm. I started reading my blog to her from my phone. She loves my writing, especially when I write about her. My blog is filled with stories of my family, both sentimental and quirky. I could see her visibly relax as I read post after post.
Mother to daughter—l’m now mothering my mom. When my adult daughter came up to visit her Nana, we all three came up with a list of people that needed to receive her college graduation announcements and who needed to come to her graduation party. With a bittersweet joy I knew to savor that moment. At 85, every day with my mom is precious. And I don’t know how much longer my daughter will be able to drop by before she flies away on her own life’s journey, far away from home.
Gifts from the Universe come in unexpected packages. I’m grateful for this year’s Mother’s Day gift. I’m a grateful mom and a daughter sandwiched with love between generations.
I honor my maternal lineage: I am Connie Lee, daughter of Jimmie Dee, daughter of Jimmie Corrine, daughter of Minnie Mae; mother of Jade Lee-Mei.
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Lovely! Great story! Alwas enjoy! Yes, treasure each moment!
We cared for my Mom her last 8 years. She was always pleased and appreciative of the meals I prepared every night…..but…. one night, after tasting what we thought was- pretty good chicken casserole ( which was not normal menu fare), she remarks,”what in the world is this?” I said “chicken almond casserole.”. She pushed her plate back and said, in a kind way, “well, it’s just not fit to eat!”. Dave and I died laughing!
So she had her veggies & fruit salad! I didn’t get my feelings hurt. They just say what they think, that’s for sure! Happy Mother’s Day to you and your Mom! They are treasures!8
Pat, she is indeed a treasure.Thanks for your kind comment.
This was beautiful. I know you had a rough time of it; I am glad things are better and you are able to see the hidden blessings. Your mom is a character…and she’s raised a daughter with loads of character.
Thanks Lisa, we are so overdue for a glass of wine!
Beautiful post, Connie. You took a difficult situation (aging parents) and synthesized it into what it is: living each moment mindfully. Cherish it. And you are!
Thnaks Cathy. You do a wonderful job of living in the moment.
Beautiful!! sniff sniff
Tootie, I know you understand.
Your mother sounds like a hoot! You are so so lucky to have each other. Glad she’s on the mend. A broken wrist is not fun (I know from experience).
As they say, she is a piece of work!
My addition to the bloghop is MADE for you–it’s the companion piece to this post! And every day IS Precious. I miss my mom so much.
C
http://www.carolcassara.com
Carol, you are so right! I loved your post and it is the perfect complement to mine!
Your mother is one-of-a-kind. I have to believe her feisty nature will get her through this episode. Love the names she came up with at the hospital!
Helene, She’s glad to be back at the nursing home bossing her boyfriend around!
Yes, it was a gift to have that week with your very entertaining mother! A few years ago my mother stayed with me for 5 weeks after knee replacement surgery – despite the very stressful moments, I was glad to have that time with her in my home. As you say, time is fleeting and we need to enjoy our days together when we can.
Sharon, 5 weeks is a long time and I understand how much stress that much togetherness can cause. But we are indeed to be lucky to have that time with our moms.
Oh what a beautiful story! I love that your mom is still with you (knowing how hard it is being her caretaker) and that she was concerned about you getting your sleep! I sat with my mom until her last breath; the last thing she said to me was “always remember how special you are.” We never stop being moms! Enjoy this special sandwich time, my friend!
Joan, what a beautiful final memory to have of your mom. I am savoring this sandwich time I have with her and my daughter.
Loved it. And personally I would have been proud to have been called George–son of the man who invented Festivus.
I tear up when I read stories where women of our generation’s mothers are still alive and kicking–and yours sounds amazing
Pia, she is amazing. She also loves to read the comments when I write about her, she’ll love the Festivas reference!
My daughter and I spend a lot of time bonding in the hospital.
It’s the best way to spend the time.
Connie, your mother sounds like quite a character. I meant to tell you this weekend how much I enjoy your posts. You are an excellent writer and must get your sense of humor from your mom. How proud she must be of the caring daughter and mother that you are. I hope you have a very special Mother’s Day.
Nyla, thanks and what a treat is was to meet you this weekend. I see more glasses of wine in our future! Mom is indeed a character and I hope you have a wonderful mother’s Day too!
LOVE THIS!!!! What a character!!! Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mom.
Thanks for stopping by and I hope you have a great Mother’s Day too!
Your mom is a hoot!
I love the awareness and gratitude you have as you enjoy having both your mom and your daughter around. Lovely pix!
Thanks Lori!
Healing thoughts to your mother. I am sure there were some very unfun times, but your write up made the week seem full of great moments. She’s a riot!
It was a really hard week, but as “moments” happened I wrote them down so I wouldn’t forget.